GUNS, MARIJUANA & THE TEXAS STATE POLICE

2003.

I was visiting a friend at his ranch in Independence Texas, between Houston & Austin. There wasn't much around his place other than Walmart, Chili's and a gun shop, I decided to borrow his Suburban and head to Austin.

Texas roads are long, flat & remote. I was humming along at around 90 MPH, when I got tagged by a Texas State Trooper.

Trooper: License & registration please.

Me: Yes, sir officer.  Here's my license. This is my friends truck. Mind if I look around for the registration?

Trooper: Go ahead.  California huh?

It was no mystery that Texas cops hate California & Californians like Hamas hates Jews. OK, maybe not that much, but it certainly wasn't helping the proceedings.

Me: Yes sir, officer.

I didn't see the registration in the glove box and had just peeked into the center console to notice my buddies loaded .357 Magnum & quickly closed it before the cop saw it (Hopefully).

Trooper: I don't understand you people in California at ALL.

Me: What's to understand? I think we all want the same things. Be happy. All that. No?

Trooper: I don't understand a state where you can smoke all the marijuana you want, but you don't have a right to defend yourself or your family.

Me: Officer, I can't say I disagree with you there. I've been an NRA life member since I'm 13 years old.

Trooper: Do you have any drugs or weapons in the vehicle?

Then I got nervous, but was afraid to lie to the cop and he was obviously a 2nd amendment advocate, so I decided to fess up.

Me: Definitely no drugs, but I did notice that there's a loaded .357 Magnum revolver in the center console. Belongs to my buddy who must've left it in there.

Trooper: May I see it please?

Me: Sure. (I open the center console and point to it).

Trooper: Would you please pick up the pistol & hand it to me?

Me: I'd really rather not. Do you mind if I just hop out and you grab it?

Trooper. Do not exit the vehicle. Hand me the pistol please.

Me: Where I live, cops who kill people ask them to pick up their gun & hand it to them.

Trooper: (Laughs) I'm not going to kill you.

I couldn't be less comfortable, but... no choice.

Me: OK, so I'm picking it up with 2 fingers... by the muzzle & handing it to you... ok?

Trooper: (rolling his eyes) ok... Wow. Nice pistol. Colt Python. Fancy friends huh?

Me: Yeah. Very nice.

Trooper: How much ammunition do you have?

Me: Just what's in the gun I believe.

Trooper: Traveling a little light aren't you, California?
(He smiles & hands me back my license). Slow down & drive safely.