Thong bank robbery

2001. 2PM. A cocktail waitress/actress friend called frantic.

ME: What's wrong? What happened?

CARLY: I was just in a bank robbery at the Bank of America on Fairfax!

ME: Like an armed robbery? With guns and masks?

CARLY: Yes!

ME: Jesus. That must have been harrowing. How long was the ordeal?

CARLY: I'm not sure, but it seemed like forever.

ME: I'm sure. I can't imagine being face down and in fear of getting shot.

CARLY: That wasn't even close to the worst part.

ME: What could've been worse than that?

CARLY: I was wearing a miniskirt and a thong and it got hiked all the way up over my ass when we were all ordered to the ground. I really wanted to pull it down to cover mysel, but was afraid they would kill me.

All I could think about was all of the cops and FBI laughing at my bare ass in a pink thong in the surveillance video and laughing at me. That's still all I'm thinking about.