"Russell Crowe" & the Sex Workers in Mexico

NOT RUSSELL CROWE & THE SEX WORKERS IN MEXICO

Winter 2014. A group of us flew down to a friends home in Costa Careyes, Mexico.

"Careyes" as it's known, is a beautiful little town of colorful & architectural vacation homes owned Hollywood stars, wealthy Americans, European expats and it seems... a few fun loving international criminals. I had visited a handful of times over the past couple years and stayed at a couple different homes.

It's a real community. Everyone knows everyone. So much so that I wouldn't want to live there for that reason. There are no hotels or resorts that I know of. Every night there's a dinner party at a different house and it's the same 30 or so people at each of them. One interesting tidbit about Careyes is that almost everyone owns the same car. A white Chevy Suburban. After a few visits, I finally asked someone why.

As it turns out, the Narcos all drive black Chevy Suburbans. The white ones signify "Civilian". The agreement is that drug traffickers can keep their trade routes, but if anyone in a white Suburban gets fucked with, the deal is off.

This visit was over the Christmas/New Years time of year. A couple of pretty millennial influencers/ sex workers had been invited by someone on this trip. Not to "perform", but more as pool & party decor and tart the place up a bit. We met on the plane ride out. They were perfectly nice, despite snapchatting their every move and talking to their phone screens like psych patients.

On the night of New Years Eve, there was a party with 400 or so guests. The finest tequila, molly and uncut cocaine flowed. I stuck with the booze and was chatting with a French couple when the girls come over to me in their tiny bikinis.

GIRLS: Oh my God Scott. Did you see? Russell Crowe is here.

Behind them in the crowd maybe 30 feet away, I see Gerard Butler. I had met him a few times in L.A. via mutual friends and had already said a quick hello.

ME: Where?

They gesture to Gerry talking to a few people. I'm tipsy and feeling a bit naughty.

ME: Oh good. He made it. Yes. I invited Russell.

GIRLS: Will you introduce us?

ME: Of course, but if there's one thing I know about Russell Crowe, it's that he loves when people compliment his work. Here's what you do. Walk up to him and tell him you loved him in "A Beautiful Mind" & "Master & Commander".

GIRLS: Really? Are you sure he won't just think we're creepy fans?

ME: Definitely not. You're hot girls, he's a down to earth Australian & he will LOVE it.

They walk over. Gerry's smiling and turning on the charm. That smile quickly faded to a "What the Fuck?" head shake.

Pleased with myself, I walk away.

Sorry Gerry.